Ayesha slowly tried to open her her eyelids, but all her endeavor went in vain. She felt someone's presence beside her, and her heart was left pumping with panicked cold sweat spreading through her arteries. It was Rahil beside her , and she knew it , but her heavy eyelids were too hefty to lift for her today. A blank space was what she was at the moment.
Rahil's hand were slowly caressing her hand. His other hand was running through her hairs, she had no idea about this perplexed situation she had woken into.
Once again Ayesha made a noticeable effort to move her hands and her feet, but none of her body part was ready co operate with her.
"Ayesha.........." she could hear Rahil call her name in that husky tone of his, which was many of one things she admired about him, but had never exposed her feeling. Rahil was sitting beside her and was making tremendous struggle to wake her up.
"Ayesha please wake up,......I know that you know I'm here, so please wake up now" he cried and she could catch every word of his. She was able to apprehend his effort but the eye lids were just too heavy for her.
"Ayesha .....I....I know you are hearing me...so..."
Someone entered the room , she could sense it. "Rahil let's go" the other voice said but Rahil was still there holding her hand with a belief that she would open her deep blue eyes surely. His hands was tightly gripped onto hers. That was the only thing she could feel. She wanted to open her eyes and look at him. She wanted to comfort him but everything was locked. She wanted to run her fingers through his hair but her fingers wouldn't move.
The beeping tone coming from the side of her bed continued at the background.
Every sense was all out and she had lost all control over her body. All she could see was darkness and all she could feel was Rahil's palm soaked with sweat.
"Ayesha...I have so much to say, you just wake up. Dear , I wanna know why you cancelled our lunch and ran away from dinner. Ok, I know someday you will tell it to me, and i am waiting. So will you open your eyes now...will you? You have promised me another date......you...remember...Ayeshaaa just open your eyes"
As he started shouting, she could hear Rahil's voice tearing apart.She felt the tight grip on her hands which was slowly loosening , as his hands got soaked in sweat. She was left wondering whats going on. She slowly tried to put pressure on her mind making an effort to know where was she today? where was she yesterday?. Her mind didn't return any answers. All this vast universe and the only thing could recall was this guy and his name.
"Ayesha.......Please be Ok....I feel so down...open you eyes" he continued.
He had no reason to be down. His eyes were all full of tears as yelling continued.She couldn't see him, her eyes couldn't feel the deepness in his, but she wanted to open her eyes and be with him now. She was afraid as the confusion grew. Across this vastly space of darkness where she was lying, his sweaty hands were the only hope and support for her. She didn't want to be in this bewildered dilemma anymore. She wanted to be back, she din't want to go away but a constant energy was pulling her. She tried to fight back and grip Rahil's hand more firmly but that turned out just to be a fruitless attempt for her.
"Rahil, I am fine don't you worry," she said but he couldn't hear. His weeping eyes and shaking lips were now too tormenting for her to handle, as he continued begging her.
"Ayesha , I love you and I am here with you , just open your eyes baby and trust me, everything....will.....be fine" Rahil kept shouting.
"I love you too Rahil, I love you" she replied but again it fell into deaf ears, he couldn't hear a single thing that she was saying. All her heart out she wanted to scream....
"Ayesha ........It feels like....like....I haven't seen your dimples since ages...so...bloody wake up now. Its too much, why do you torture me every time huh?" he said and started weeping again.
The echo of his voice, the dropping tears through his deep eyes made her more weak. The continuous beeping sound was instigating her now. With each hiccup he took, he choked, he stammered, but he wouldn't stop. He was in no mood to let her slip away this time.
"I'm alive Rahil....but......" she screamed as she saw a ray of light heading towards her tearing the immense layer of darkness in front of her.
"...but.....am I alive?....wait,....is this death?" she thought. There was no light, no heaven, no strange looking fat man to take her away. Thinking all these, and watching that beam of light approach her she kept lying down, trapped and locked in her own body. If this was what it feels to die then she was ready to cheat death and would open her eyes and wipe off the tears from his eyes.
The light kept heading in a fast paced manner as it appeared more bright. The irritating beeping sound kept getting louder and more exasperating to her ears. It got louder and louder. The light kept beaming with high frequency and kept shining bright until it penetrated her pupils as she suddenly opened her eyes and furiously moved her hand to stop her alarm.
"Damn it man" she said to herself as she woke up to a bright cold Sunday morning. As she turned off the jarring sound of the alarm, she woke up in her room painted bright purple and decorated with posters of "One Direction". She felt relaxed, her heart got distressed as she realized she could move her hands and shake her feet. The traumatic dream had left her body all sweaty and her head heavy. She took silent deep breath, the room was filled with fresh air and she slowly got up from the bed. The fear of this dream had consumed her mind and her nerves.
Ayesha stole a moment just to regain her nearly lost breath back and rubbed her eyes to make sure that her eyelids were open this time.
The day was bright and lights shining through the window again covered with purple shades of curtain. The clock showed ten past nine. It was a dazzling day and equally contrasting had been her dream. The winter sun was already up in the sky. It seemed there was no chance for rain today. She pulled her hair tie rubber from her drawer and pulled her phone out from beneath her pillow. She wobbly moved her feet towards the balcony of her flat located on the outskirts of the city.
The trauma she just had was running all over her, but luckily now she was able to recall her life back.
She had cancelled a lunch with Rahil and had ran away from the middle of the dinner, even then Rahil had managed to fly all over her dreams.
Trying to get the connection between all these chaotic notion she stood there in the balcony. Was she to ignore these? or should she give it a thought? . From the farewell evening a month ago to facebook, watsapp, late night messages and the first dinner at Food Station a night before Rahil had continuously made an effort for her. Ayesha was quite aware of this and knew what Rahil thought about her.
Her mind kept playing around on a sunny morning with lots of confusion. She had experienced a bad taste of relation before and was unwilling to take the risk again. She didn't want a man in her life again, she was afraid to make herself believe that this one would work. Just the thoughts of gone days and her ex boyfriend would leave her dreaded.
In a pause, all those glimpses of nightmare hit her head again. She could clearly visualize now, that balantly beeping sound , the big echoing room with Rahil sitting beside her , weeping. His husky voice , wet hair and deep dark pupils with black shirt and denims. His cries, his effort, his desire to be with her.
As she looked up with a confused look all she could do was think of him in that situation. The free floating clouds above and clear sky din't give her an answer. Ayesha had lost her mind with a dream, and to all these reasons. As they say , when you don't understand whats wrong, try not to know and just keeping moving ahead in life. She was afraid but something inside her liked his company, his illogical sense of humor and the efforts he used to make for her. For some reason , she decided to come out of the box and started dialing Rahil's number, standing on the balcony.
"Yup say, why are you awake so early?"
"Oh shut up, i am a morning person" she continued with a sense of relief on her face to be back to the world.
"So say, what made you call? ...any more surprises for me today?"
"...umm..don't know, anyway what are you doing?" she said quietly.
"Nothing, Prashit and Rohan just left , and Joy is still here"
"I asked you what YOU are doing, I guess" she always had this dominating tone for him.
"Told you nothing, Just sitting in the balcony and writing stuffs"
"Early morning?... anyway me too"
"What....you are writing too?" he said in a surprised tone.
"Nope dumb, I meant i am also standing in the balcony"
"Where? I can't see you" he continued
"Now will u stop it Rahil....ummm"
"Whats wrong Ayesha, you sound different today" he asked , as always he had this amazing capability to know instantly if something was wrong with her or her voice.
"ummm....nothing,,,,,...."
"So now you will continue with your mysterious puzzles or will you tell me whats wrong? Coz I know something is"
"Its nothing like that........actually...Rahil..."
"Yup, say, I am here" he said , he had no idea about the nightmare she had gone through the night.
"I wanted to say something...actually...."
"What? Say na....you want a dinner again?"
"Uff will you stop this now Rahil"
"Ok, sorry, say"
"Rahil I need you"
"What?" he sounded horrible this time...
"Yes Rahil...I need you"
Sometimes life has a cruel sense of humor, giving you the thing you always wanted at the worst time possible. One always dreams, and to stop dreaming, well its like, to stop living.
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