The good and the Bad

Once upon a time, there was peace. Nothing existed but the Light and the Dark. Both communities thrived in their own aspects. The Light community was merry and nonchalant while the Dark found joy in intra skirmish. Nevertheless it was peaceful, because they lived indifferent to each other’s existence. Unknown to the existence of their nemesis, both declared each other the sole ruler of everything there was or everything there would be. Everything was fine as they lived in their space, smaller than a marble, until one day.



One fine day, originated a rumour from an untraceable source that they were not alone. Word spread around, like fire in a forest and soon the kings from both the realms were open to question. Words of unknown origin were now to shape their future. Several researches were carried out and finally the existence of beings alien to them was confirmed.



Light was excited to meet creatures who dwelt beyond their self-conceived boundaries. But Dark was different. It wanted to take the other world for itself. So for the first time, Dark set foot to a land none had gone before. With keen preparation they marched to war. Meanwhile Light only prepared a community of elite leaders to march towards their unknown neighbours. The two met far away from each other’s land in the middle of nowhere. The elite were mercilessly crushed and the news of the birth of war reached the Light community.



They prepared for the fight that waged at their forefront. Anger, lust, power, desire and emotion coagulated at the centre and the small marble burst open forming the universe. For a fight between every one thousand soldiers, one from each community survived and ventured far away from the war.



Dark was ambitious still, so it took the sky for itself and grew with time. Light was peace seeking, so it found refuge on a huge rock afloat in space. Time passed on and the scars of battles began healing. As greedy as it was, Dark kept growing and expanded into new horizons. Light was prosperous. One day it looked into the Dark sky and all memories of war bubbled up at once. Hence it decided to create the sun, to light up the sky. But the sun wasn't powerful enough to keep up the entire day, so Light created the moon. Both the sun and the moon had mild lights of their own just as Light had desired. Dark had only expanded, while Light had truly prospered. This enraged Dark. Jealousy and anger took over its actions and the sound mind was cut short. So one morning as the sun rose and the moon set, Dark played its atrocious move.



The moon was set to go down when suddenly showers of murky arsenal from Dark shook it to the core. The sun was not left alone, it gave Light pleasure, so Dark set it ablaze for the rest of its life. The moon took an unprecedented beating and permanently lost its light and its orbit around Light's humble abode.



Light woke up to chaos that day and decided to ward off darkness once and for all. It travelled into the sky and etched little openings in it. Into these openings, it set its soldiers, who shone in the dark night. This made Dark helpless as the soldiers also transferred daily information to Light's household. Every night these soldiers twinkled information about Dark. Dark was chained, it was powerless against this setup.



Time passed on. Dark shamelessly kept spreading around while light revolutionised its home planet. Light with its own hands crafted life. Plants, animals and eventually people - humans. Humans were Light's best creation because they were clever, kind, generous and free from evil. They even named their planet 'Earth'. For years and years, there was joy and laughter for Light and for years and years, there was pain and shame of a defeat for Dark. But Dark only seemed quiet, its mind was always at work. It had devised a way to overcome Light's barriers. One night, it took the best of its soldiers and very inconspicuously, sent them to earth.



The soldiers together took form of a human and like a Trojan, began infecting people with evil. Evil slowly grew. It was the most efficient weapon ever crafted by Dark. For evil thrived in the heart of humans and was enough to control them. Opinions diverged, kindness diminished and hatred for the like grew. Light could not find out the problem, or the solution. Over the span of years, two groups were formed, the Good and the Bad. They were each other’s nemesis. One still believed in Light, the other a slave of Dark. Tensions between the groups escalated. An inevitable war was to come, and so it did. A war amongst the creation of Light. It waged on for years while Light tried to find a solution to it. Finally Light gave in and decided to end the war just as it had begun. One formal morning as the soldiers prepared to continue the battle, a huge lightning bolt struck the battlefield. Both armies rushed outside to realize what had gone wrong. Was it the enemy's weapon? Was it something from outside? So many questions without an answer. The Good came out to see a ridge miles wide and so did the Bad. The enemies couldn't see each other beyond the other end of the ridge. Days passed and the debris settled down, yet there was no clear sight of the enemy.




"Sir, the enemy hasn't been seen or heard of in over a year. Our scouts cannot cross the ridge. It would be safe to assume they are dead", said both commanders to their respective leaders. Victory was declared on both sides. Years, centuries, eons passed and the war was forgotten. Both communities thrived in their own aspects. Until one fine day, originated a rumour from an untraceable source that they were not alone.

CHAPTER 14 THE LAST DATE

"So......I guess this is our last meeting......", he mumbled. She din't look away this time, although he kept staring at her, trying to read her liquid blue eyes.

"I don't know Rahil......Life is long ...what else can I say", she spoke softly walking across the pavement, close to him.

She was to leave tomorrow, 19th February and she would be gone. The two walked past the college street as winds blew off through the dark roads. The half moon hung over the clear sky. The stars twinkled high above.

"What If we never meet again?", he asked the question aloud and she replied with a long silence.

"Ayesha,.....don't go....", he murmured again, knowing he had already lost the battle.

As she kept her mouth sealed, she did not look at him this time and kept walking as she twisted a strand of her hair nervously between her fingers.

"Rahil....sometimes all we have to do in life is to keep walking, never stop, and go wherever the path may lead."

Both of them kept walking ahead silently across the street. It was a pleasant evening. She looked nervous and lost as she kept taking her steps ahead . After couple of minutes , Rahil finally broke the silence between the two.

"Foodstation? For One last time...I guess...what do you say?", he said with a smile stopping himself in front of the restaurant. She gave a wide smile back.

"A soup date for one last time.....", he insisted again. Rahil did not pay much attention to her reply this time and walked inside the restaurant.

"Rahil....you are just impossible", she said as she followed him inside.

The same man in his late thirties with a neat tidy suit on, greeted both of them with a pleasant smile as soon as they entered the restaurant.

"Good Evening sir,"

"Good Evening.."

"Please come, this way", the manager asked both of them to follow him.
Rahil took heavy breaths as both of them followed the manager.  His feet grew heavier under soft subdued strokes of light.

"Here  you go sir, enjoy the evening", the manager greeted them once again and went away.
Rahil locked his eyes into hers as he made himself comfortable on the sofa. He leaned forward, meeting her blue eyes, his thoughts and words were already in a flutter. He heard the tempo of his heart increase. The clock showed six past six.
The restaurant seemed little busy today. As always it was half filled with couples who were deeply in love with each other. A family was seated just right to them.

"So...should we order.... you will get late or else..", he asked. She nodded her head and kept looking at him, smiling at her crazy, silly, 'almost lover' senior. Rahil , meanwhile called the waiter and placed the order for both of them. He din't even bother to ask her once. Time seemed to be galloping for him. Just few minutes more and she would be gone.

"So....it all started with a soup , so , I guess it should also end with it......", he whispered slowly trying not to look into her eyes.

"...you talk to much Rahil.....", she replied.

"I know that....actually when I am nervous or sad ...I talk a lot and thats a secret, keep that...", he replied instantly.

"Ahem...Ok..So what else secret do you have Mr. Author?", she mumbled, looking interested . Her face was glowing under the dim light.

"I have many secrets....and ,,I guess you won't be knowing them ever, because you are going tomorrow,"

"Okay but we still have today", she mumbled again, biting her lower lip. Rahil gazed at her and realized how till the very last moment he was still falling for her. Both kept their silence as the emotions flowed with the soft music at the background.

The soup arrived. The feelings had been clear on both their faces as if it was spelled out in words across their forehead. I will miss you baby, he said to himself having his part of the soup. This was nothing he had encountered ever before.

"So.....you are going tomorrow", he spoke softly in a husky tone.''

"Yes...I am..but not forever",

"But you are going ...Ayesha..",

"That I am",

"So......can't you stay back?, I mean...you know",

"You know the answer Rahil....",

"Yes, I know, sorry I am being silly, anyway Goenka will miss you", he laughed off.

"Okay.....so why will Goenka miss me?",she replied with a smile.

"I don't know......I just know that I don't want to miss you...I don't want to", emotions flowed through his eyes this time as he started running out of his breaths.

"Rahil.........we will meet someday..I know that much...",

"and what about me? what about my novel?",

"kill the main character....", she smiled as she said this.

"Shut up Ayesha....I don't want to do that", he leaned back at the chair, staring at her eyes and listening to My heart will go on at the background. Oh god what a timing they have, he thought.

"But If you kill someone, your novel will sell", she mumbled.

"I don't care...now leave the novel." he sounded irritated  this time.

It was thirty past six now as both of them sat at the Food Station together for the last time, cheering their story, a short one but a wonderful one. The room was filled with strong notations emitted from the piano and strokes of subdued rays. The emotions ran all over as Ayesha moved her hand forward and held his hands  for the first time on the last day. Rahil kept looking at her. Millions of emotions flowed inside him as he held Ayesha.  His eyes went red . At any cost he wanted the time of freeze at this moment.

"Rahil ...take care, and stay as you are always..", she spoke softly and pretended to be strong.
He kept looking at her.

"Stop staring at me like that Rahil....it scares me...", she murmured again.

A huge well decorated room, dining tables and sofa placed all over, had many people in it, all different people coming from different religions , different class, having totally different world and a totally different stories with them. Rahil ran his eyes through every couple inside the place.

"May they don't have an ending like ours....", he replied with a grin, mixed with shining tears in his eyes.

"Stop it Rahil.....and they won't...and its not an ending Rahil...always be good and now focus on your graduation ...and hope we will meet someday", her voice choked .

"Its not just about meeting someday Ayesha....and yes I will miss you...I don't even know what will I do...probably I will move to Pune after my exams..", he smiled looking at her. She smiled back and her eyelashes fluttered behind her thick glasses.

"Pune?...don't be silly idiot. I want you to complete your novel as soon as possible, so focus on that ",

"Ayesha you are going tomorrow...its hard for me as I won't be able to see you after this...Ayesha....just tell me who am I to you?", This time both of them just smiled and silence prevailed .

"I will answer that someday....and now I am afraid I have to leave Rahil, I have whole packing job to finish today itself,..",

"Okay",

"Rahil.....lets go",

"You can go....you can leave.."

"Rahil whats wrong?....lets go..I have to catch a Taxi", she said as she got up from the sofa and once again moved her hand towards him.

"Ayesha , just go.....Bye bye....", he din't bother to look at her. He kept looking down still sitting down.

"Rahil I am getting late....don't be stubborn...come on", she seemed little irritated now.

"I am not stopping you Ayesha....just leave...",

"Bye bye, take care Rahil. I will miss you."

She started walking off the restaurant. Rahil kept looking at her for one last time. She was leaving. Moving away, taking millions of emotions and billions of memories with her. He kept looking at her until she opened the door and went .
******************

".......Its a cold night....I met her for the last time today. She is going tomorrow, leaving me alone. Today as she walked off i thought she would look back once , but she din't. So, this is my story I guess. This is my half written novel and this was my almost lover. She came into my life for a short period but left a longest dream back for me. My Ayesha, I will miss you, wherever you will be, we will be under the same sky. With every night I will live , I will just watch the stars and will reach my hand to  you through their reflections. I will miss you Ayesha, my tormenting friend, and I will wait for you till the day I don't see that star up above....Ayesha I won't give up. You are leaving today but I will bring you back one day...take my word..."

He closed his diary and stood there at the balcony as he took a sip of whisky. His deep eyes ran through the sky following the  full moon that hung up above. The winds blew off wildly . He just stood their facing the world with a glass of whisky in his hand. Its funny how people think moving away will make their life trouble and drama free.
************

CHAPTER 13- THE STAR CROSSED-PROPITIOUS THIRTEEN

"..........I ran back to see her again but she had left already.
I looked like such an idiotic fool. It felt that she didn't care for me but that would never stop me from pursuing her....."

Rahil stopped in between the lines of his chapters when he received a message in his cell phone. It was 13th February and the sun was up early morning. Day had started to heat up as winter was all set to leave the city. He sluggishly placed the diary beside him and checked the message, sitting alone in his room.

"Good Morning" read the message.

Out of nowhere , after countless days he received an early morning text from her. He was left surprised. He was stunned but as it was always, she often managed to do this to him.

"Good Morning", he replied back with a smiley, trying to show how happy he felt after receiving her message.
He typed back with millions of chances running inside him. He laughed a bit. He had never been in such a situation before.

"Can you call me?", came the message again from the other side. He was beaming now.

"Fine , give me a minute , I  am calling you", he typed it again with the same emoticon.

Rahil got up from his bed with a perplexed expression. It took a moment for him to get out of this bewildered morning conversation. He pulled a chair and sat, deciding to call her.

"Hello".

"Hey , How are you?" , she mumbled softly.

"Yup...I'm fine...as always..".

"Okay".

"Say what made you talk to me today? Do you again need me?" , he tried to sound little rude and disinterested .

"Oh...shut up now....".

"Okay ...sure...".

"Rahil...I felt I should say sorry to you..".

"Sorry for what?".

"...I don't know...for everything I guess" she sounded little embarassed.

"Nope..its okay, why should you say sorry to me...I don't even understand. Afterall, I'm no one to you , right...just another stranger, I guess..", he said and waited for her response, wishing he would finally hear something he would like. His heart was beating faster as always.

"Oh God....Why are you like this Rahil?."

"Because this is how I am...I am horrible..".

"Why do you always want to fight with me...?".

"Because you are horrible too Ayesha......that's why", he murmured, and silence followed for the next few seconds.

"I don't understand whats going on....I don't know...Rahil..I seriously don't".

"You don't have to know also, you are happy and nothing is wrong in your life ".

"Yeah right, You know everything na?" she said with a sigh.

"Okay, leave it, So tell me in plain English, are we even friends now?", he asked . He smiled faintly, as he was not sure himself what he meant.

"I don't know..." she replied.

"Now you don't even know that we are friends or not...okay...okay...nice .." he mumbled in irritation.

"Oh God , you are making this more hard for me", she spoke softly.

Did I accidentally offended her?, he thought, and he said, " What?".

"Nothing...".

"Ayesha don't talk in riddles. Stop beating around the bush . What are you thinking now?", he questioned and looked down at the diary in his hand.

"I guess....we will try to remain friends after this..".

It was a bit relief for him to hear those words clearly. But he was still confused. In a faint husky tone he said,
"Ayesha....I am still trying to know what you are talking about".

She held an intented smile on her face, kept in hanging on her lips as she started breathing heavily from the other side of the phone.
"Rahil, I like you the way you are. We have had memories together...a short one but a wonderful one...but...".

"But what?".

"Rahil, my family is moving to Pune. Yes, we are leaving Kolkata in about a week.", her face turned red as she said this over the phone. Rahil stood up in shocked despair the moment she finished her line.

"What?....You are joking...I know", he tried to smile.

"Nope, why will I?....my dad got posted ...so we are moving there...and thats the reason I din't want anything to grow between us ...Prashit had called me up early morning and yes...its not about my ex boyfriend Rahil..its about my family, and i am leaving."

"a....and you college..?", he din't know what to say. He still couldn't believe this.

"Dad wants me to drop an year and join Law over there...", her blue eyes went teary and her cheeks went red as she explained him. Sometimes truth can be worst and unknown can be better.

"Ayesha...I mean...", he couldn't complete his sentence , and the long silence followed. She was crying from the other side showing that she would be missing him.

"Ayesha ...this is frustrating, you know...tell me once that its just a joke...I beg you please..., " he said with a stammering voice after a long pause.

"I will always miss you Rahil....You are too different from everyone...", she mumbled.

The world had fallen apart for him. He was left all speechless by his crush as always. He couldn't believe his luck. Its said that you will get something if you truely want it, but here it was just opposite for him.

"I don't know what to say now.....can..can we meet Ayesha?", he was justifying his irritation now.

"Why?", she demanded.

"Okay , you are moving away, and I can't even meet you?...okay...fine. You question too much everytime , you know that?. I want to meet you and I don't have any reason for that. I...I just don't wanna lose you...be whatever you are...but be in my life. I know its been only few months of knowing you but I don't want to lose you. Let me be with you as no one Ayesha, I am happy with that too. I can compromise with everything to be with you. What will..I do..here...without you?, I want to complete my novel one day and I don't want my main character to move away Ayesha...."
his voice flowed with emotions. That was one of the longest speeches had made.

"Kill your main character....and end it....I bet it will sell...yup it will.", she replied with a deep voice.

"I don't care if it doesn't sell or not....just be here....I can go to any extent to keep you with me here", he stammered more.

"Rahil...... as you always said....its fate..what can I say more. Life is long dear, you never know the short comings...and now stop behaving like a kid and try to understand me. Rahil, I will always miss you and what little time spent with you..",
she said slowly. Her face was red and tears started rolling down her cheeks.

"I have nothing left to say I guess.....thanks to Fate that you are going away....atleast I am thankful that I met you....and all this happened..", he sounded hurt .

"Rahil....we will talk about this later....mom calling...and sorry..."

He din't bother to reply more. He just placed the phone beside him and moved towards balcony holding a diary in his hand. Happy Valentine's Day in advance dear, he whispered. Drops of tears started rolling down his face as he walked expressionless out of the room. It was not a relationship, it was much more than that. It was not a break up but it was harder than that for him. He felt like leaving everything and moving million miles away . It felt more harder and harder to take the truth. But there was no point. These few months had changed him. The serendipitous meeting and memories ran all through his mind. His heart sinked into the depths of his stomach.
He took long breaths, he couldn't cry, he couldn't scream. All he could do was beg in front of fate and keep breathing. He didn't want to die but wanted to live one more day in wait for his crush. He had never been in this scenario before. This was the truth, the reality he was in. His story seem ending even before it started.
Ayesha whatever you are, I don't care and I won't give up on you, he murmured slowly looking up at the sky. He sat on the floor on his balcony resting himself to the wall and opened his diary. He opened it and went to the last page.

Ayesha, My heart shatters. My world burns down. I just want you to know how much I need you. I need you from the time I saw you from the corridors of the college and will need you for the rest of  my life. These months, despite of many fights and discussion , have been the best time I have had.
Ayesha you give me happiness. You give me the reason to plan my life ahead and you see, here I am, totally down and out.
My hand is shaking . I am terrified to face the truth. How do I keep hope in a world like this, full of uncertainties.
I know I'm worthless. I'm not the one you would notice first when you walk into a room. I'm weird and I don't mind because I'm lucky that I met you. I will be with you and will make sure my novel ends well....
In such a short span of time, I found you. I won't let it end easily, I will make you mine at every cost Ayesha.

Rahil closed the diary gently and put the cover to his parker. His cell phone was ringing continuously but hardly he cared. He sat there, heads down. The cold wind blew off, caressing his face.

Life had never been easy for him. It was full of ups and downs he knew it. Love will never know its depth until separation but he knew this was not the hour of separation as both of them were young  and had so much to live for. He was in no mood to give up and was willing to take his chances and risk it all to keep her with him.

Crushes are beautiful and sometimes you have to stop believing in Fate and start believing in yourself to keep them with you .

CHAPTER 12 FOUR PINTS DOWN

It was 6.30, 30th January. Everything was the same, except Rahil. The room was as messy as always, mostly with the sprawled newspapers thrown over the bed. A pile of clothes hanging beside his bed. The layer of moss in the balcony was the only thing growing for now.
The city was wintry and the flurry of cold wind brought chills with it. The sky looked pale and the horizon was subdued with dim lights spread over it.

He went ahead to answer the doorbell, he opened the door and let Prashit and Rohan in, breaking the long existing gruelling silence flowing inside his room.

"Finally we managed to get an appointment with you, thank you sir" Rohan taunted him as soon as he entered ,reminding him how busy he had been for these few days.

"Aare yaar, come on now , ...rubbish" Rahil replied in an imprecise tone.

"Anyway we will come to this later. Its Chelsea vs Arsenal today guys" Prashit interrupted and went ahead to make himself comfortable on the bed.

"Oh right, shit I totally forgot,....its game day today" Rahil tried to sound little bothered and excited.

Meanwhile Rohan looked spiritless and inattentive to the topic. He was hardly into the European football. The  farthest he kept interest for the game was when Mohun Bagan's match was aired . He headed towards the kitchen deciding not to get in on the act. He asked Rahil,
"So why din't you come for tuition today?"

"Actually I woke up late and I was not feeling well today so I din't.."

This was the third class he had bunked in a week. As of now it seemed that he had no trepidation for the upcoming exams and the cause of it was a single girl. Ayesha had taken over everything in his life. She was immensely growing on him and he was letting it. From the moment the rays of the morning sun showed up till the time stars went bright he was in love with her.

"Yup, I exactly know why you were not feeling well. Rahil....stop being like this..I mean you can't overlook everything just for her. You have your life and your dreams too, If you are forgetting" Rohan made his voice soft. Prashit kept his mouth shut and his eyes glued to the TV waiting for the London derby to kickoff.

"Nope, You are not getting me Rohan. I was not well, seriously" Rahil seemed little irritated with the topic . All he could think  was Why din't she reply me, who am I to her. He followed Rohan to the kitchen.

"Dekh bhai, Its your life ...I know..but I feel its my duty to make you realize if you are wrong"

"So what are you trying to make me realize , please enlighten me" Rahil murmured , stirring a cup of coffee he stood behind Rohan trying to look interested.
By this time Prashit entered the kitchen hustling and looking too eager for the match he shouted,
"Guys anyone up for booze tonight?"

"Yup I am on" Rohan agreed without any hesitation.

"Nope , please not tonight and by the way Rohan, don't you realize that this is wrong too?" Rahil mumbled.

"You are impossible man. What have a girl done to you?" Rohan replied taking long breath as he saw Rahil leaving the conversation halfway moving out with a cup of black coffee.

"Rahil....come on yaar..how can you be so boring? You always needed beers for the match before..remember?" Rohan insisted ,following him into the room.

"Obviously I remember it. I don't feel like doing it today..as simple as that", he replied placing  himself on the bed and taking a sip from his mug.

"Leave it then...Prashit and me are getting some for us while you carry on with your black coffee", Rohan sounded a bit agitated with his denial. Rahil gave a shock expression and decided not to answer him anymore. Five minutes more was left for the kick off. Both of them had a small chat and went out to get some alcohol for the night , leaving Rahil back , undisturbed with his cup of coffee.
The drizzles had started. Something is seriously wrong with him Rahil overheard Prashit as they left.

He looked at the mirror hanging beside him and smiled back at the reflection of it. He closed his eyes but nothing seemed contemplating. Ayesha I am no one to you na, I know he murmured in the silence.

Rohan and Prashit returned after 15 minutes with a litre of Royal Stag and some delicious looking chicken lollypop. The match had started by now they made themselves comfortable and started cheering for their team.

"How boring these girls are", Rohan interrupted.

"Oh now will you please stop this and let was watch the match" , Prashit shouted showing his Arsenal spirit over Rohan.
The never ending discussion over the sport continued for next few minutes. Meanwhile, Rohan quietly went to the kitchen and returned with three glasses and bottles of water with him. The two continued to watch the match. After few minutes the party started when Rohan started pouring the first peg.

"Rohan,I won't have , I told you people earlier.."

"Aare stop this now and its cold outside today, you will need it", Prashit came up with his illogical sounding logic.

"Oh God, make a small one for me", Rahil clarified himself as Chelsea scored early and he started screaming and cheering. It was raining heavily now. The winds blew with maximum velocity. The storm had hit the city. The weather was just unpredictable as Ayesha was in his life.
One peg after another it went down for the next hour as the conversation continued.

"Lets call Joy man, I am missing him now", The fourth peg inside Rohan started doing the talking.

"Its 9 p.m Rohan and I think we should let him enjoy in Pune", Rahil replied.

"You are only there when you have to call Ayesha, I so know you", Rohan murmured.

"Oh God not again, leave it", Rahil stood up and headed towards the balcony with a peg in his hand. The storm was in no mood to slow down. He took out the cell phone and started calling Ayesha after the fourth peg.

"Hello"

"Hey," her voice sounded low.

"You din't message me the whole day", he said.

"Yup, I know"

"Ayesha you haven't answered my question yet"

"What question?"

"I asked you who I am to you?"

"Oh, you know everything and why you doing this to me?"

"Okay. So the dinner, the date, does it mean anything to you?"

"Rahil stop it. I will explain it to you everything one day"

"ufff... Ayesha just don't leave my novel half written ever till that one day comes...I just want that much"

She din't reply and hung up. The silence left Rahil suffocated. The bottle had been half emptied now and Rohan lied on the bed asleep. Prashit still was cheering for his team to level the score. Rahil put the phone back into his pocket and took a sip from his glass as he stood their at the balcony facing the storm. His eyes in search of someone between the heavy rain and darkness. Prashit came out with his glass and the bottle, pouring himself another one.

"You want more?" he asked Rahil.

"Yup"

Prashit stood their beside his friend silently, kept staring at his half drunk, half hurt friend.

"Rahil whats wrong?", he asked, placing his hand on Rahil's shoulder.

"Nothing....why?"

"You can't lie to me buddy...I know you from four years and I guess I know you pretty well".

"Nothing re, seriously. Why don't you make me another peg"

"Did she tell you something? You can share if you feel like"

"Go away, your Arsenal is losing" Rahil gave a faint smile with a long breath. Both of them stood there, silently, following the vehicles running down below.

"What went wrong? Tell me", Prashit again broke the silence.

"Everything...everything went wrong".
Rahil opened up this time. The match had ended and Chelsea had won the game but neither Rahil enjoyed his victory not Rohan got infuriated as Arsenal lost.

"Interesting.."

"You find this interesting? seriously? Its tormenting actually"

"So tell me whats tormenting?"

"Prashit, this girl is making me crazy. She is not beautiful but she is the prettiest. She tempts me towards her. From college days till this very moment she has been growing on me. With every message , every phone calls...every conversations I start wanting her more. I don't know whats between her and me mate.
After twelve crushes..the thirteenth one is tormenting"
His voice stammered . Prashit decided to keep shut and let his friend speak. Rahil took another sip , smiled , and continued,

"Isn't it funny man, I love her , I am in love with the thirteenth one. I lost my mom when I was ten and life has never been fair to me after that and this time I want to prove my life wrong. Amidst all these....all these wrongs, she is the only thing that feels right. I don't even know why...I don't know how I fell for her, I don't even know why I did. After all these .....all these...She needs me but I am no one to her. Yes..You heard that right...no one. She can't be mine Prashit...she is in love with her ex boyfriend. Isn't it funny man?...She is afraid of commitments....What do I say now....I don't even know where I am going..."

Rahil stopped and emptied his glass. His eyes had gone wet. Prashit looked at him and smiled . It was raining heavily. The city was all drenched and so was his deep dark eyes.
***********
***********

CHAPTER 11 THE END OR THE BEGINNING

One whole long grueling week passed by. Life had begun to change for him now. She needed him and this thought would keep him alive and breathing. Talking to her, knowing her, listening to her philosophies was his part of life now. The 'I need you' topic was still uncleared between them two. Ayesha was slowly growing on him.


 It was a hot summer afternoon when Rahil stood tired under a mango tree rooted beside the pavement. He was tired from wiping off the continually generated sweat from his forehead.
 The sun was at its full might when an angry bus driver went past the road cursing the delicate man ,fallen on the road who had dared to ride his dilapidated cycle alongside the demi bus.

 Rahil constantly looked at the man and his concentration was only broken by a small seminaked boy asking for spare change. Rahil offered a two rupee coin but the boy demanded five. He did not want to argue so he did just as the boy asked. He would probably roam around in a quarter pant with a top that one would feel ashamed to call a T-Shirt. But like always, formalities had taken over comfort and the red shirt paired with a black enim and sneakers were right now his worst enemies.
'This is probably my worst day ever' he said to himself. 'But how can this be bad?' He argued 'For today I am to meet her again'. It is funny how someone unknown till yesterday can make us do so many iditoic things and still be happy.
The phone rang and he imidiately took it out expecting her call. 'Joy Calling', said the screen and he with fallen hopes received it.
"Dude! Where the hell are you? We need to get drunk now.", he said ecstatic
"what? Why? I can't come. I'm outside the Nicco park waiting for Ayesha. What's the matter?" he asked.
"I'll tell you when we meet. Why didn't you tell us you would be gone today?"
"We just planned it yester night, Ayesha and I. And dude, I wouldn't get drunk at 1 pm even if i were at home."
"But you aren't at home, that is the point. See ya later bye."
"Bye."
Time had started to slow down. Every second seemed like an hour. Desperation mixed with scorching heat was something even the satan would want to avoid.
All the desperation slipped away as a taxi arrived and stopped in front of him. The wait was over. Ayesha was there for their second date fulfilling her promise. He glared at her. Ran his eyes all over her. The girl was looking all beautiful in her black pants and racer back top. He couldn't dare tell him how wonderful she was looking. Ayesha took her steps towards him with a smile. A fresh smell of her perfume re energized his mind.
"You are late again" Rahil said.

"Yup, traffic jam. But I guess I fulfilled my promise" she replied rubbing her hands against each other. The small details he noticed made his heart beat faster for her.

"Any way , so should we go in now?", Rahil refered to the place they had decided over the phone last night.

"Ok sure ,"

Both of them slowly made way towards Nalban , situated just beside the Nicco park. The sun was still at its peak. Lots of thoughts curling in both their minds as they walked .

"So how is your preparation going Rahil?" she demanded to know.

"Yes I am preparing, lets see.Anyway you look good today". Even after months he was still trying for her.

"OH, thank you for that, and yes how are your friends?" she asked again.

"Yup, they are good too. I was wondering to move to Prashit's place for some day so I could study"

"Yes , If you think that will help then you should. So have you come here before?"

"Where? Here? Nalban?" he made his voice more huskier and how Ayesha loved that.

"Yes, I came here once for my school picnic you know" she explained herself walking towards the gate.

"Okay, lets go in now" Rahil suggested as his hand went for hers unknowingly. He slowly retracted it.

"Hey, lets try the boat ride", those were Ayeshas first words inside the park.
'I was thinking of food, but who am I to think, she is the one who controls me', Rahil said to himself.
"Sure, no problem.", that would be his reply to almost anything coming out of her mouth.
They at once started walking towards the counter.
 'How much for the boat ride', he asked the young lad at the counter.
'What?', he replied in an alert tone.
"How much.."he was stopped by her "We would like a boat ride please."
Sure he smiled.
Rahil looked at him with a frown.
Ayesha looked at rahil and giggled.
Rahil realised how stupid he was being and smiled back on Ayeshas face.

"Hey, can I tell you something?" he said trying not to look at her serene face.
"Yes you can" she replied.
"I have not been on a boat before and I am a little afraid of water" his eyes were on the ground and a crimson blush took over his face.
"What?" she started laughing.
"Don't laugh, it can happen to anyone." he gathered courage to shield his self esteem.
"Okay okay", she tried to stop laughing but after a short pause gave in to the intensity of the joy.
Rahil looked at her laughing and was struck by something that gave him the joy of getting drunk over and over again. He was intoxicated by her.
 He no longer cared about the world, about himself, he only wanted to stare at her thinking he had made her that happy.
Rahil smiled looking at her face. Ayesha noticed his sudden silence.
"What happened mr. water-o-phobia?" she asked trying to control her laugh.
There was a short pause, Rahil took a deep breath in "You are", he said in a placid tone looking right into her deep eyes. He wished to hold her hands but climbed above his emotions "..... idiotic.", a reflex smile covered his face.
"Shut up Michael Phelps. Lets go to the boat now." she had probaby noticed how Rahi'ls arms were moving towards her hands as he looked into her eyes.
Rahil nodded and continued the paused walk.
'What did just happen?' he said to himself 'Am i fa.. no shut up Michael Phelps..Shut up Rahil', though he barely had any idea who Michael Phelps was.

A young woman guided him and Ayesha onto the boat and gave them a couple of instructions about how they should be careful and little things that Rahil barely cared about.
So this was the moment. A moment to overcome a cause of his nightmares. No, Not Ayesha, the water.
He gradually rowed the boat and closed his eyes for some time. Ayesha sat before him looking at the lake.
He opened his eyes and there was Ayesha looking straight at him.

She came close, picked up his hand and held it between hers "Its going to be okay" she looked into his eyes and felt his fear.
"Your life is about to change" she said looking at him smiling and moved back to her spot.
Rahil kept paddling until his hands were tired. He looked all around and there was only still water with a gentle breeze distorting its calm surface. Ayesha looked out to the scenery. Rahil's eyes fluctuated between the wild greenery and his wild infatuation or was it so?
Long black hair distributed over her shoulders and covering her back. His fears had gradually started to give in and he knew he had started moving towards one of the best feelings of the world.
"Why did you stop?" she asked as she turned back to him.

He didn't want to tell her he was tired "Lets stop here for a second and enjoy the view"

Ayesha looked at him for a moment and then looked away to the endless lake. From the center of the lake, the view was breath taking. Temperature had started falling down and the atmosphere was quiet. All around there was nothing but still water, the breeze had stopped. As far as one could see, there was only Gods imagination. A pair of white swan swam just a few yards away from the vaguely umber boat.
It was a different world, where the inhabitants were only people on about a dozen boats and the birds that swam peacefully.
Hardly had anyone realized that dark clouds had started approaching the sun. Rahil looked up at the sky and felt cheated on. Did God really lurked behind watching him from a distance waiting for the perfect moment to ruin his day?
He was about to find out. 'Don't spoil the moment please, God being a skeptic, he hardly had any idea of talking to the almighty.
'Would it rain?' The question was 'Did God care enough to leave Rahil alone?'
But its the evil God above you, ready to sabotage the perfect moments of your life. It started raining. And it rained heavily.
"Row the boat - fast", she said trying to cover her head with her hands.
Rahil started to row as fast as he could, but reaching for a shelter from the center of a humongous lake takes time.
It was too late, he stopped rowing.
"What are you doing?" she shouted.
"It is of no use now. We can't reach the shore. Just enjoy the moment."
God could do whatever he had to to ruin his life, situations are not under our control, but our choices are. He decided to stay.
Ayesha looked at him and he stared into the water.
It was unlike anything he had seen before. How could he fear such a miraculous moment? Falling Water droplets struck the water surface and the once calm scene grew wild. Time paused, but for the better.
The sound of the droplets breaking into the lake, the birds dancing and enjoying the moment considered evil by Rahil, the trees breaking the falls of droplets, everything was magical.
It seemed God was testing Rahil and Rahil has passed with flying colours. The sun came out tearing through the dark clouds.
It was still raining, but it was sunny. It seemed like God smiled from above to Rahil. Yes he had won. The rain turned gentle and the sun soothed the ambiance. Rahil had overcome his fear and it was far more wounderous than anything he had experienced before.
Ayesha looked at him as he felt the moment. Both were cold and all drenched, but neither showed any concern. They were in the moment.
"How was it Rahil?" she asked.
Rahil looked at her for a moment. He got up from his seat and walked straight towards her. He came up really close and stared into her eyes. She looked perplexed and scared.
Anyone could tell, how her heart beat increased as she was locked into his eyes.
Rahil gradually lifted his arms towards her waist and held her tight. She closed her eyes and so did Rahil.
"Who am i to you Ayesha?" he asked.

"What ?"

"Who am I to you? answer me."

She kept silent. Best moments in life are not seen or heard, they are felt. This was the best moment. Its funny how situations that we think are there to slow us down. For the future is never upto us. Up there someone is looking down at you trying to write your perfect story. It has ups and downs but its yours only yours.
Yes she was right, his life was about to change.

CHAPTER 10 THE PHONE CALL

"Rahil I guess i need you, yes i do need you"

As he heard the line, his heartbeat increased and his eyes got deeper. He immediately placed his diary aside escaping a narrow nervous breakdown.
The 'truth and dare' girl, his crush, Ayesha was on the other side of the phone. She still managed to surprise him as always.

"Well what can I say....thank you for that..ummm" he replied as his heart thundered inside his chest. With a sigh of relief and holding up his breath, he just managed the dumbest reply possible.

"Thank you? Seriously? I mean is that all you have to say boy?...come on , a girl is saying you something" Ayesha knew Rahil had gone speechless on the other side of the phone.

"No...its not like that..Ayesha ..actually...ahh...I don't know may be.."
The boy paused for a while as Ayesha continued to monitor his reaction over the phone.

"Ok, so are you saying that you don't need me back?" she muttered.

"You know what? I so want to shut you up right now"

"Oh come on Mr. Writer, you can't do that so easily and I guess you know it too" her voice sounded easy and bit musical to his ears.

"Ok..then..I don't have any problem actually," he murmured.
Early morning , sitting in the balcony, he had again managed to make his words sound both out of sense and out of topic.

"Rahil....now may I know with what you don't have a problem? You are confusing me", a moment of pause and uneasiness prevailed.

"Oh God..nothing. I don't know what I'm saying...I don't know.." he said with a deep breath,facing the sky and a bright day.

"You know what, sometimes you do sound like a little child. I seriously wonder how come you are two years older to me..anyway.."

Rahil had no idea how to calm himself. His mind had lost control over his mouth. He knew he was not making any sense right now . He was just putting in continuous effort to sound as normal as he could.

"Ok fine, leave it.....just tell me why do you need me?" he asked after a long pause , trying to control his sweat.

"I don't know, I seriously don't. ...ok, So all I know right now is that I need you for now"

The long pauses between the lines continued.

"For now? I din't get you Ayesha..will you explain this to me please?"
His voice grew huskier. He slowly escaped the balcony and entered his room.

"Whom are you talking with?" Joy asked Rahil, as he tried hard to fight the hangover from last night and applying cream to his Russel Peters resembling face.

"Please hold on a second Ayesha.....Its Ayesha" Rahil murmured the last part of the sentence as softly as he could.

"Ok then, carry on. Like you I don't have someone waiting for me at the dinner table" his voice was full of sarcasm.

"Will you shut up now moron?" Rahil sounded a bit agitated.

"Ok carry on with your Ayesha then" Joy made the last word as soft as possible mocking him with a monster in his head smiling wide.

"Yup ..sorry..Ayesha, so say, where were we? " he decided to ignore Joy.

"Now are you asking me to repeat it all over again? This is heights"

"No..No...you don't have to. Okay , I remember, so you need me?"

"Yes and stop asking me the same thing over and over again" Ayesha sounded a little exasperated this time.

"Ok, I won't ask..but......I mean why do you need me...as in...I'm curious" he piled up one more question in front of her.

"I don't know, I seriously don't, I felt like saying, so I said it"

This was one of the few things Rahil hated. The drops of diplomacy and blurriness of her words were making him lost. He never felt comfortable when someone would leave him in a 'Does she mean Yes or does she mean No?' situation. He had experiences in the past where girls had made him flutter with their diplomatic answers. He wanted Ayesha to be different. All he knew right now was that he had to be charming enough and a responsible sounding guy.

"Okay,...at least you confessed that you felt you need me. Its..good..atleast you are frank and upfront. I admire that Ayesha"  he tried to sound more charming and gentle.

"Now you sound so cold , do you know that?"

"Cold? Why will I sound cold?..Oh come on , I just said that I admire the fact that you are frank and upfront"

"You know what...just leave it " She sounded a bit harsh this time.
His attempt to be a charming and responsible guy was thrashed immediately by his crush. Oh God these girls are just impossible he said to himself and rushed back to balcony. He had fallen for a girl, he had a crush on her, the 12th one, but a different one and now when that girl was just expressing her feelings , he was unable to say a thing, he was speechless. The only thing he could do was sweat. This wasn't getting any better.
After a long pause he continued,

"Leave it? I'm not leaving it. So now its better if you say, what did you mean when you said that you need me?

"Can I ask you something Rahil? Do you like me?" this was the frank and upfront side of hers doing the talking again.

"Ummm..yes, obviously..I do..I do like you"

It seemed Rahil wouldn't be getting his answers anytime soon.

"Ok..Good...so tell me why do you like me?"

"Oh, come on . I guess..I don't have an answer to that. I like you because ...I like you ..that is it."
 he admitted with a thought passing in his head  Is this girl on PMS, she is acting crazy.

"So now you see, it is the same actually. You don't know why you like me and I don't know why I need you, got it?" she cleared her perspective to an extent this time.

"Okay, got that, so why don't we stop trying to find the 'why factor' "
he said it feeling a bit strange and still confused but he was enjoying it.

"Yup, exactly , that is what I meant . After all..you don't believe in WHYs , you believe in fate as i remember"

"Yes you are right, that I do..I like you..I agree..and you need me. So Ayesha does that mean this is heading somewhere?"

It was a stupid question to ask and he knew it . He was  just getting abruptly desperate to clear out things and get some warning from her if there were any at that point.

"What" Okay...I can't answer that , I guess. I am actually speechless you know" she mumbled after a pause.

For months now he had been wanting her, stealing a glance of her every possible moment. The truth and the dare, the farewell party, the cancelled lunch and the 'soup date',he was cherishing every moment he had lived with her till now. Today, all those tiny moments had brought him close to her. A little inside her world. I want you to be my girlfriend Ayesha , he talked to himself, facing the sky with a phone in his hand.

"Ayesha can we meet? like...can we? " he decided to carry on the conversation forward.

"When?"

"Okay, so are you comfortable with tomorrow?"

"No not tomorrow please, I have my tuition tomorrow and I hope you know it" she answered pausing between her words.

Ayesha knew, how this would hurt him. She knew he'd reach out for her arms every possible time. But she didn't want to move it so fast. The fear of her past still left her in despair.

"No, forget the tuition, I don't care. I want to meet you" he sounded little impatient.

"Now will you please stop like a dumb Mr. Senior?,  In case you have forgotten, I have my selections exams coming up next month."

"Fine, I got that, okay, leave it now. You had promised me that we will meet again if you remember..so...i guess its your choice when you want to do that" he replied sounding little more irritated with the senior part.

"Definitely , I remember my promise and yes, we will meet and I will let you know. I guess I have to hang up now"

"Okay whatever, as you want, keep needing me then...." he said in a frustrated tone as he din't get the answer.

"Bye bye, take care" she smiled  in a teasing tone as she kept the phone.

You are so much lovelier Ayesha, he said it to himself as he kept the phone back and thought to settle scores with Joy. Rahil just wanted her to call him now and just tell her when and where will they meet up again.

Ayesha gave in after that nightmare . A dream, a nightmare, but a thoughtful one was what she was in. After her previous relation had soured up, not in her wildest imagination she knew that she would be calling up a guy and say I need you.
She never was the regretting one. Her thoughts were as clear as her words. Thank you Rahil  she murmured as she left the balcony and entered her room.

The phone rang suddenly and in a second Ayesha was on her feet, expecting it to be him.
Much to her expectation it wasn't.

"Hello.."

"Hello Ayesha , Aditi here.."

Its surprising how after reaching a certain point we start expecting every single call and message to be from the same person.

CHAPTER 9 POINTLESS TRANCE

Ayesha woke up to the continuous , constant flow of beeping sound beside her bed. It was a cold daybreak on a winter Sunday morning. The room felt like a large ball of vacuum with an inadequate amount of air left to breathe for her. The calendar showed the date 2nd January. Where was she? She felt her body weaker than before and her hands numb.

Ayesha slowly tried to open her her eyelids, but all her endeavor went in vain. She felt someone's presence beside her, and her heart was left pumping with panicked cold sweat spreading through her arteries. It was Rahil beside her , and she knew it , but her heavy eyelids  were too hefty to lift for her today. A blank space was what she was at the moment.

Rahil's hand were slowly caressing her hand. His other hand was running through her hairs, she had no idea about this perplexed situation she had woken into.
Once again Ayesha made a noticeable effort to move her hands and her feet, but none of her body part was ready co operate with her.

"Ayesha.........." she could hear Rahil call her name in that husky tone of his, which was many of one things she admired about him, but had never exposed her feeling. Rahil was sitting beside her and was making tremendous struggle to wake her up.

"Ayesha please wake up,......I know that you know I'm here, so please wake up now" he cried and she could catch every word of his. She was able to apprehend his effort but the eye lids were just too heavy for her.

"Ayesha .....I....I know you are hearing me...so..."

Someone entered the room , she could sense it. "Rahil let's go" the other voice said but Rahil was still there holding her hand with a belief that she would open her deep blue eyes surely. His hands was tightly gripped onto hers. That was the only thing she could feel. She wanted to open her eyes and look at him. She wanted to comfort him but everything was locked. She wanted to run her fingers through his hair but her fingers wouldn't move.
The beeping tone coming from the side of her bed continued at the background.
Every sense was all out and she had lost all control over her body. All she could see was darkness and all she could feel was Rahil's palm soaked with sweat.

"Ayesha...I have so much to say, you just wake up. Dear , I wanna know why you cancelled our lunch and ran away from dinner. Ok, I know someday you will tell it to me, and i am waiting. So will you open your eyes now...will you? You have promised me another date......you...remember...Ayeshaaa just open your eyes"

As he started shouting, she could hear Rahil's voice tearing apart.She felt the tight grip on her hands which was slowly loosening , as his hands got soaked in sweat. She was left wondering whats going on. She slowly tried to put pressure on her mind making an effort to know where was she today? where was she yesterday?. Her mind didn't return any answers. All this vast universe and the only thing could recall was this guy and his name.

"Ayesha.......Please be Ok....I feel so down...open you eyes" he continued.

He had no reason to be down. His eyes were all full of tears as yelling continued.She couldn't see  him, her eyes couldn't feel the deepness in his, but she wanted to open her eyes and be with him now. She was afraid as the confusion grew. Across this vastly space of darkness where she was lying, his sweaty hands were the only hope and support for her. She didn't want to be in this bewildered dilemma anymore. She wanted to be back, she din't want to go away but a constant energy was pulling her. She tried to fight back and grip Rahil's hand more firmly but that turned out just to be a fruitless attempt for her.

"Rahil, I am fine don't you worry," she said but he couldn't hear. His weeping eyes and shaking lips were now too tormenting for her to handle, as he continued begging her.

"Ayesha , I love you and I am here with you , just open your eyes baby and trust me, everything....will.....be fine" Rahil kept shouting.

"I love you too Rahil, I love you" she replied but again it fell into deaf ears, he couldn't hear a single thing that she was saying. All her heart out she wanted to scream....

"Ayesha ........It feels like....like....I haven't seen your dimples since ages...so...bloody wake up now. Its too much, why do you torture me every time huh?" he said and started weeping again.
The echo of his voice, the dropping tears through his deep eyes made her more weak. The continuous beeping sound was instigating her now. With each hiccup he took, he choked, he stammered, but he wouldn't stop. He was in no mood to let her slip away this time.

"I'm alive Rahil....but......" she screamed as she saw a ray of light heading towards her tearing the immense layer of darkness in front of her.

"...but.....am I alive?....wait,....is this death?" she thought. There was no light, no heaven, no strange looking fat man to take her away. Thinking all these, and watching that beam of light approach her she kept lying down, trapped and locked in her own body. If this was what it feels to die then she was ready to cheat death and would open her eyes and wipe off the tears from his eyes.

The light kept heading in a fast paced manner as it appeared more bright. The irritating beeping sound kept getting louder and more exasperating to her ears. It got louder and louder. The light kept beaming with high frequency and kept shining bright until it penetrated her pupils as she suddenly opened her eyes and furiously moved her hand to stop her alarm.

"Damn it man" she said to herself  as she woke up to a bright cold Sunday morning. As she turned off the jarring sound of the alarm, she woke up in her room painted bright purple and decorated with posters of "One Direction". She felt relaxed, her heart got distressed as she realized she could move her hands and shake her feet. The traumatic dream had left her body all sweaty and her head heavy. She took silent deep breath, the room was filled with fresh air and she slowly got up from the bed. The fear of this dream had consumed her mind and her nerves.
Ayesha stole a moment just to regain her nearly lost breath back and rubbed her eyes to make sure that her eyelids were open this time.

The day was bright and lights shining through the window again covered with purple shades of curtain. The clock showed ten past nine. It was a dazzling day and equally contrasting had been her dream. The winter sun was already up in the sky. It seemed there was no chance for rain today. She pulled her hair tie rubber from her drawer and pulled her phone out from beneath her pillow. She wobbly moved her feet towards the balcony of her flat located on the outskirts of the city.
The trauma she just had was running all over her, but luckily now she was able to recall her life back.
She had cancelled a lunch with Rahil and  had ran away from the middle of the dinner, even then Rahil had managed to fly all over her dreams.

Trying to get the connection between all these chaotic notion she stood there in the balcony. Was she to ignore these? or should she give it a thought? . From the farewell evening a month ago to facebook, watsapp, late night messages and the first dinner at Food Station a night before Rahil had continuously made an effort for her. Ayesha was quite aware of this and knew what Rahil thought about her.
Her mind kept playing around on a sunny morning with lots of confusion. She had experienced a bad taste of relation before and was unwilling to take the risk again. She didn't want a man in her life again, she was afraid to make herself believe that this one would work. Just the thoughts of gone days and her ex boyfriend would leave her dreaded.

In a pause, all those glimpses of nightmare hit her head again. She could clearly visualize now, that balantly beeping sound , the big echoing room with Rahil sitting beside her , weeping. His husky voice , wet hair and deep dark pupils with black shirt and denims. His cries, his effort, his desire to be with her.
As she looked up with a confused look all she could do was think of him in that situation. The free floating clouds above and clear sky din't give her an answer. Ayesha had lost her mind with a dream, and to all these reasons. As they say , when you don't understand whats wrong, try not to know and just keeping moving ahead in life. She was afraid but something inside her liked his company, his illogical sense of humor and the efforts he used to make for her. For some reason , she decided to come out of the box and started dialing Rahil's number, standing on the balcony.

"Hello, Rahil"

"Yup say, why are you awake so early?"

"Oh shut up, i am a morning person" she continued with a sense of relief on her face to be back to the world.

"So say, what made you call? ...any more surprises for me today?"

"...umm..don't know, anyway what are you doing?" she said quietly.

"Nothing, Prashit and Rohan just left , and Joy is still here"

"I asked you what YOU are doing, I guess" she always had this dominating tone for him.

"Told you nothing, Just sitting in the balcony and writing stuffs"

"Early morning?... anyway me too"

"What....you are writing too?" he said in a surprised tone.

"Nope dumb, I meant i am also standing in the balcony"

"Where? I can't see you" he continued

"Now will u stop it Rahil....ummm"

"Whats wrong Ayesha, you sound different today" he asked , as always he had this amazing capability to know instantly if something was wrong with her or her voice.

"ummm....nothing,,,,,...."

"So now you will continue with your mysterious puzzles or will you tell me whats wrong? Coz I know something is"

"Its nothing like that........actually...Rahil..."

"Yup, say, I am here" he said , he had no idea about the nightmare she had gone through the night.

"I wanted to say something...actually...."

"What? Say na....you want a dinner again?"

"Uff will you stop this now Rahil"

"Ok, sorry, say"

"Rahil I need you"

"What?" he sounded horrible this time...

"Yes Rahil...I need you"

Sometimes life has a cruel sense of humor, giving you the thing you always wanted at the worst time possible. One always dreams, and to stop dreaming, well its like, to stop living.

CHAPTER 8 The Unprecedented Date

The Unprecedented Date.

Rahil took out the long kept hundred rupee note from his old black leather wallet and passed it to the taxi driver as he got out from the cab. The driver wore a perplexed expression about accepting that almost dead note.
"Please keep the change ," he said with a nerved smile to make sure that the fat muddled driver accepts it, which in fact the driver did and moved ahead in search for his next tripper. It was thirty minutes past five. Rahil could see a large inviting Food Station board on the opposite side of the road.
In an ideal situation, or as showed in a usual classic Bollywood movies, this place would not be a perfect one for the first date but as it was to be the man never controls the fate, the woman in his Life does. Noisy traffic constantly bustled down the one was lane . Unprosperous beggars line up on the pavements who seemed to be deprived of  meal for days.
The winter rain had brought rawness and dewiness to the environment. Busy herd of all strange looking men and women moved up and down the pavements completing their days obligations and in a hurry to be back to their native accommodation.

Rahil slowly crossed the street with a constant sense of fear sparkling on his eyes. He would be meeting Ayesha in person at the dinner. His heart was pumping up with high spirit as he crossed the ever flowing road all with cars and overloaded drainage. Rahil walked towards their planned restaurant. He had always burst into the place with an intention of filling his stomach with the most luscious foods that the restaurant offered before. But today was different, this feeling or the emotional state he was in was different, and much immense compared to any of those before. He stood in front of the place with an aspiration to get all his dreams come true. A chill ran down his spine when a neatly dressed guard with a  noticeable mustache opened the tinted glass door for him with an honest looking smile.

"Good evening Sir," the guard greeted him in a jolly tone as Rahil set his foot inside the location.

"Good evening " he replied back with a zeal on his face.

The restaurant din't look busy as it would be on typical evenings. Couples covered majority of the half filled place with a genuine spark on their face, holding hands as they locked their eyes into each others, articulating how they had already entered a different world. A group of immaculately dressed group of women covered the farthest corner while some tables were covered by the ones who looked monetarily and spiritually content with life.
As he entered and started to determine the most suitable table for the night, another neatly dressed gentleman approached him and asked politely,

"May I help you sir?"

"Yes, umm....table for two?"

"This way sir please come ahead"

Rahil followed the manager with heavy steps. The dim lights from tubes etched into the painted ceiling along with the soft jazz music flowing in the background had the potential to command the mighty Hulk. Rahil kept following the manager looking at the couples who seemed to be in deep love with each other. His throat had gone dry, and  his body insensate.

"Here you go sir, enjoy the evening" the manager showed him the predestined table for tonight and left with a cheerful amused grin.

"Thank you"

The clock on the colorful glossy painted wall showed the time 5.45. Rahil had already run out of words as he slowly made himself comfortable on the cushioned seat. The renewed passion in his life could do a little good to him. He looked like an incessantly frightened kid on a dark night , as the bright lights strike his pupil . He started looking at the menu, what would be appropriate, one by one he went down through all the dishes that the place had to offer, trying to settle himself down with the ambiance , dressed up in  black shirt and denim.
Amidst all these there entered his crush as the tinted glass opened up.

"Ayesha" he shouted in excitement as soon as he saw his crush, acquiring all the unwanted attention of the crowd seated around. He was all lost, what better way to kick off the first meet than acting like a complete witless silly teen right from the start. Wow, Ayesha you look beautiful, he said to himself gazing at his angel.

Blue surely was her  favorite color. Dressed up in light blue top that ran a little down her hips, deep black pants and again deep blue eyes. She looked beautiful Rahil had started sinking down in his mindless drunk emotions. The third attempt had finally brought him here, and she was there making way towards him.

"Hey, Hi" the dimples appeared on her cheeks expanding her charm, with that smile. This was a different feeling. Much different than what he had experienced before. Different than the dates he have had before in life. For all those tormenting nights he had spent longing to be in her presence had brought the day where all his trance dreams were to come true, and last for the few weeks to come ahead.

"How long have you been here?" she said as she placed herself on a cushioned chair placed in front of him.

"Ummm.. 15 minutes, yeah please sit," he replied holding a glass of water attempting to stop the flowing involuntary drops of sweat.

"Ok, finally we are here, ummm...and say..." there came the first portion of puzzle towards him, as she said this moving her nimble fingers to use her phone, or to reply to some message that she had received.  Rahil just kept gawking into her eyes. The intoxicating bottles of beer had hung into him. What was there to say when he hadn't even started yet.
All possible matter or point passed through his mind as he kept staring his crush busy over the phone.
He was left like a little boy nursing his little black bird to life, come on mate, come to life.

"So hows college going?" he said and felt happy with his own progress.

"Yeah its fun, and what about your life?" she replied continuing to type the message. This seemed little infuriating to him. How can she be so uncaring he thought.

"Yup, have started preparing for my graduation, i hope it goes well" he delivered his first lie to her. He just justified the trademark line Men will be Men.

"OK, sounds good."

"Can I order something? " he took the initiative and decided to order as a few packets of chips and beers couldn't hold his appetite for long.

"Oh, yes...obviously, go on" she sounded little nervous. He smiled back and said "okay sure" and signaled the waiter . How he loved when she used to stop between her words.

Every possible minute felt more exciting and harder than the previous one. His throat had gone dry again as he sipped on the glass of water. He haven't had a peaceful nap since last two days and the reason for it was positioned right in front of him. He started looking at the menu all over once again and once again he failed to make a choice. Sitting in front of him was an ordinary girl, but this girl had been playing around with his mind since then and forever.

"A man-chow chicken soup for me, i guess, and you? he said finally making one of the toughest decision he had made in life till now.

"Umm.. make it two then" she replied agreeing to his choice and catching a sight of her profile in the reflection of the mirror placed right next to the wall. The beer was thrilling and rousing but so was she. The music, the dim lights, the ambiance all matched up, made him lost in sentiments. His fate his search had lead him here. The conversation carried off smooth. The next few minutes were spent teaching about each other to themselves and enlightening each other on choices and opinions until the man-chow soup was placed in front of them.

"By the way , you look beautiful tonight" he said sprawling some chilly flakes over his soup.

"Chilly flakes, seriously?" she laughed off as Rahil continued sprinkling onto the soup. He had no idea what was wrong in it.I said you look beautiful Idiot he said to himself, with a uncontrollable smile.

"Yup, its something i grew used to maybe" he answered.

"What , you grew up with chillies?"

"Oh god, shoot it, so tell me, why did you cancel the plan before?" Rahil finally had the expectation to know the reason that had made him numb all day. I wanna know why you did that Ayesha, you know how I felt , he said it again to himself staring at her abstract eyes, hard to understand but soothing to look at.

"I don't think you wanna know the reason" she said slowly sipping on her part of the soup.

"What if I say, I wanna know?"

"I guess , you won't like it"

"Okay, but how can you be so sure, that i won't like it?"

"I think so, and trust me, I am pretty sure , you won't"

"Okay, I trust you, leave it then"

"Anyway, I will tell you when the time comes"

This further puzzled his world. Deep down there was a hidden coral lying deep inside that deep blue sea, which he tried to bring out, but seeing her getting little uncanny over the topic, he decided to leave the Coral untouched.

 "Okay, as you say"

Her cell phone beeped again. This moment Rahil got little displeased, but she decided to be with him for the moment as she slowly pushed the phone aside. She took her free flowing hair down her shoulder and tied it up into a bun. Ayesha I so love when you do that, his mind had been shouting all this time. Several hundred of voices he ignored. There was no way he could resist this. She was Insane , she made her stay up at ungodly hours of the day and her eyes teased him and encouraged Rahil to go more deep into her world. There was certainly a hidden coral in her life , he felt.

"So they banned 50 shades huh?" she said.

"Seriously yaar, that was lame"

"I so wanted to watch it"

"Anyway, its good that they did, I feel now"

"Why?"

"Atleast I met you earlier, and here we are today"

"I agree, umm...so you believe in destiny?

"Not exactly, but in fate I do"

"But aren't they the same?"

"Nope, they aren't, and they never will be...."

So far it was quite well for him, except that he would want to hold his breath once and tell her how much he was liking it to be with her, at that moment.

"Okay, so the writer side I see now, anyway enlighten me please", she said in a casual tone.

A message again beeped away on her phone and took away his serene life , and this time she decided to reply. The free flowing jazz notes in the air, the stroking dim lights and the smell of her perfume was the best new year gift he could have asked for. The couples inside were still in love, holding hands. Women who sat on the far side of the corner were preparing to leave now and Ayesha was there, just in front of him, teasing him with her deep dimples, hair bun and her smile.

"Just a second Mr. writer,"

"Okay, go on."

He never wanted the hour to end. He was liking this power she possessed over him. For him it was the perfect new year gift,

"Rahil, can you help me?" she asked after replying to the messages.

" Yes, obviously, tell me what?"

" I was wondering ummm.......what If I say I gotta go right now?" she said.

"But why? Like....I mean...the lunch?"

"I have a problem, so If you don't mind, I have to I guess"

He was left all unanswered . How can life be so unfaithful. What was he to do now? What was he to say? He sat there just looking at her expressionless.

"Ayesha will you mind if i say that you do this every time?"

"I don't know what to say Rahil, I don't know how to explain right now,"


"May be you should explain it to yourself first"

"Please Rahil, please don't mind and yes we will meet again soon " she made her voice soothing compelling as it could be.

 A second was what it took to change everything. The music, the lights,the  mood, the atmosphere.

"Okay, thank you, hope you won't mind"

"Leave it now, but promise me one day I will know the reason for all these you are doing"

"Promise" saying this she opened her hair and started typing the reply to the receiver best known to her.

"Excuse me.....may I have the bill" he called the waiter.

"I will pay, I invited you, so let me"

"Nope"

"Rahil please, don't embarrass me more"

"This is your punishment so keep quiet."

She was left more embarrassed.

The bill was placed after a minute and Rahil completed the process. So lets go he said.

The clock had struck seven. How time flows when one is lost. They both moved slowly out of the restaurant into the road. The ever standing guard greeted him again with a pleasant smile. Little drops of drizzles touched him, he kept looking at her as she stood there, silent waiting for an empty cab to pick her up. Two minutes more and she would be gone. The sky was clear and the cold wind blew. He just wanted to hold her hand and let her never go but he was left helpless and right now he was nowhere near to that.

As he saw an empty cab approaching towards them and stopped, his heart grew heavy. She slowly launched herself into the back seat and told driver the destination.

"Rahil I am sorry, and it was nice to meet you"

"Promise me we will meet soon" he shouted as droplets of water started pouring down.

She raised her eyebrow and laughed. The taxi moved ahead through the one way. He kept staring at the moving cab. The heart was heavy and mind full of love. He smiled and made his way towards the pavement. It was raining heavily. He looked up at the night sky, looked deep into the  stars above, and moved ahead, all filled with emotions. He had the best time with his crush on one hand and on the other his first date had turned out to be just a 'soup date' for him.

 With earphones plugged in, he decided to walk back to his room, his balcony. The never ending Kolkata Traffic was at its peak. Cold wind and rain continued hitting him on his way back. Walking through the pavement he slowly took out his phone and played a song.

Well i'm so far away that each step i take is on my way home,..
....
still I run out of time or its to get through,
till the bird on the wire flies me back to you, 
I'll just close my eyes and whisper,
Baby blind love is true,
I wanna lay you down on the bed of roses....for tonight I sleep on a bed of nails.....

**************

CHAPTER 7 THE REPLY

As Rahil picked up the call and found Ayesha on the other side , he had no idea of this thunderbolt she had thrown over him. A poet or a lyricist might use the term "heart broken" for this situation. All throughout the day his face had been pale and demented. The New Year, new day, the get together between friends, discussions everything had failed to make him feel lighter throughout the day. As he stood there at the balcony facing several tall human constructed architectures, he replied in a husky tone.

"Hello, yes Ayesha, say"

"Hello, Rahil, are you there?"

"Yes, I can hear you, bolo", his voice sounded more soft and confused. As human beings, we long for love, we long to be desired, we long to be valued, but Rahil longed to be with her, that would be enough for him.

Slowly the sky started pouring again. The weather seemed to be playing with him, poking him, making fun of him. The fate had already started playing game of chess in his life. Even in the worst, talking to her could put a beam tender, unnoticed smile on his lips. The cold winds continued striking his face, as it penetrated the lanes and by-lanes of Kolkata.

 Rohan , Prashit and Joy  were  still hanging with their never ending discussions, may be this time it was going on with what career plans they had stored up for themselves. Tiny drops of rain continued hitting his face and his Sony Xperia M. His phlegmatic mind din't have an idea what was more intoxicating to him, the three bottles of Kingfisher strong or his newly found zest for living, Ayesha.
When you don't know whats wrong and whats going on, just stop your effort to to know, and move ahead, he said to himself murmuring.

"What are you saying?" Ayesha asked.

"Oh...nothing,nothing, say,"

"I'm so sorry Rahil "

"Whats there to be sorry for? chill, Its ok" he said it again in that husky tone of his.

Rahil had been a player since his high school days. He used to be quite good juggler between the girls. His character matched up exactly with those of sprinters or Usain Bolt . He could cover the short distance swiftly, in a minimum possible time, but in the long run, he always failed cheaply. The last serious relation he had was almost two years before, It had lasted for 6 months and after that the passion faded. It had ended on a sour note just before his 20th birthday. It had been quite incomprehensible and depressing at the same time for him as after that he hadn't had that serendipitous feeling for any girl for almost two years. Now when that faded passion had started burning inside him once again for Ayesha, fate seemed cruel.

"Rahil actually i wanted to ask you something"

"Yes you can ask" he said this with no excitement as before.

"Nothing leave it...."

"Aare say na, its totally ok" he sounded more numb.

"Actually...ummm...can we meet up for dinner today?" she asked it in a low tone. Here comes the third chance, he thought

" Today?"

"Yes today, its 3.30 , so we will meet around 5.30, so will that be good with you?"

He was left speechless for one more time. He was a new man all over again. Throughout the day he had lost all idea about himself, and almost had lost all faith in fate. With a continuous struggle between I can't go I am drunk, but  I can't miss the chance to meet her, the fight between him and himself , he replied,

"Yes that will be fine , i guess, so Food Station?" he asked in one breath,his eyes shining all over again.

"OK, see ya then" her voice din't sound like before though.

The never stopping heart beat was just unbearable . He just made a choice and what better state to be in for the first meet, with three bottles down for the first date. The clock started galloping now. Time surely does move at different paces at different situations. The three of them were all asleep now, compressed in a single unmade bed. The TV was left on, and some European football league was going on. The last topic for discussion probably was this before all three got wasted and down, he thought . He switched off the Tv, making his way into the room, through scattered newspapers lying all over the floor , and empty chips and cigarette packets sprawled over. he took a diary out from his red bag. Rahil started moving back to his creativity room with a diary in hand. The clock showed 3.45. Just few hours and he will be with his crush. The feeling did excite him but between that excitement there was the obscured fear of losing the chance for the third time. He decided to fill one more page in his diary. There was no rush this time. What should he wear? How should he talk? How will it be like? What would she think after the first meet? little did he cared about all these questions now. As he entered his creativity room, the rain had slowed down, the roads were half drown with over flowing drainage, and they decide to ban 50 shades, he said to himself slowly with a smile. The traffic was stucked down the road. Turning the pages , with his beautiful crafted Parker Pen in hand, he started writing....

" Let me live this day on my own, I won't live on the validation of others. I am not afraid if i make a mistake today because I am human and I am bound to make one. This day will end soon, the year will end soon and at the end of it I don't wanna discover myself in a boring stand just because I listened to my parents, my friends  , my idols or just because I followed the same old perfect dating tips given on the internet or I listened to my priest or some idiotic looking guy on the Tv . I won't give up, I want to fly, to imitate that multi coloured butterfly  and for that I am ready to give up my life as a caterpillar. Without twitter, Facebook, I want to follow my heart for once and live a day, because in this world there is so much congestion, traffic congestion, inbox congestion, nasal congestion, artery congestion and the quest to eradicate poverty, the drainage problem, wrinkles problem. Does my face look pumped up in this pic? Am i looking too fat in this one? Between all these confusion and congestion and the continuous effort to balance between food, work,water,career, alcohol,medication,mental health,physical health......let me breathe today and take a time out for myself an my love because I am a human bound to make mistakes and I'm not afraid to make one...."

A smile spread on his face as he gently closed this diary and capped his Parker. He looked up at the once gloomy sky. Clouds had started to spread out and make way for the winter sun. Rahil turned back and entered the room, it was not the one in which they boozed, It was the once where Ayesha had asked him for a movie. The grin went wider on his face as he looked at his drunk pals lying dead on the bed. He looked at the wretched clock which had just struck four. He quickly started searching for what to wear for the day, but he needed to dilute the beer effect, to bring  his senses back to normal, so he decided to take a shower, though time was not on his side. He ran out to the bathroom in his towels , dodging a disaster slip by inches.

Black shirt, jeans was the only option left for him. Wet ,spiky hair , immaculate look and with that drunken smile he jogged off the room, having a last glance of himself on his practice mirror. He paused to look back at his utterly comfortable sound-sleeping-friends but realized that there was nothing he could do. He slam shut the door and ran downstairs and decided to check the time. It was 5.10. Quickly he was on the main road now. Hair  half wet and his eyes looking deeper than before. He continued running  along the flooding pavements, as time was running out of him till he reached a junction few meters away and shouted..."TAXI"

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